"I want to be a woman until I'm 40 and then I want to be a man" - was what I used to say when I was a younger woman. I'm not sure I believed it.
Women rule, that I've always believed, but the youthful statement was made when I had confidence in beauty and before I knew enough to have confidence in age.
Debbie Harry Rules
Society had led me to believe that all the great things that could happen to a woman were only to happen in her youth, while she was still pretty and of childbearing age. I never felt at a disadvantage as a young woman, but since we all had to age, I simply decided that men were sure to have an easier time after 40. Now that I am 42, I can promise you that no man, young or old, has ever had any advantage over me simply because he was a man - not even a pretty man. And I can confidently say that I am glad my wish was not granted.
Thoughts on Feminism
My thoughts around feminism stem from recent events. My social feeds are often buzzing with conversations about feminism and how men bring women down. Although I consider myself a "feminist" of sorts, I don't often share the same views as the women making the bulk of the noise in my feeds. We all experience negativity and discrimination in life, but for me, gender would be low on my list (if I had a list) of things that stood in my way of success.
A few weeks back, I posted the photo below to a Facebook group I own, the outcome was not what I had expected. I thought most people would agree that it was bad or wrong, but see some humor in it, or at the very least understand that it was not a present-day ideology. Nope. Shit got crazy and it escalated fast. The heated thread in my Facebook group went on for days.
This made me realize that my views on feminism were vastly different than other women's. I am a Howard Stern fan, I have no problems with pornography and I tend to get along better with men than women. However, the biggest point of differentiation may be that I firmly believe women should be able to do whatever they want, however the want - even if that means objectifying themselves (in other people's views). I am OK with women using their sexuality, or their looks, to get ahead in business, for marriage, or music (like Debbie Harry), or whatever it is they want to do. Sexuality and good looks are an advantage, why wouldn't you use them? Do you think a man would say, "Well, I'm tall with a chiseled jaw and I look great in a pinstripe suit, I know that's why I beat the short bald guy out over the finance job, I'm not taking that job because I feel objectified."
Women Who Rule
Instead of dwelling on the differences, and who is right or wrong, I would rather celebrate women who are awesome. Women who overcame obstacles and barriers, or maybe like me, they paid no mind to the frivolity of others.
I picked Kim Gordon because her book Girl in a Band: A Memoir came out last week and there has been so much buzz about her in the news - a timely choice but still a great choice. I'm not a big Sonic Youth fan, but anyone my age (who listened to music) knows who Kim Gordon is, and more importantly, any woman my age (who listened to music), has mad respect for Kim Gordon.
I can't remember a time when I wasn't impressed by Kim Gordon, she appears on the Homage board mentioned in my last post, but when I started to follow Kim Gordon's Instagram account a while back I grew more and more impressed. She is so cool and normal and good and awesome and good and cool and unimpressed and blonde and cool. When I look at the photos she posts on Instagram, I so badly want to be her, or at least be her friend, or at least gain her approval for validation - anything will do, anything at all.
It was Kim Gordon's Instagram handle that alerted me to the Lana del Rey comments that surfaced last week. Her photos had an abundance of kids commenting in defense of Lana del Rey, I tried to read the articles but then I didn't care enough to bother. I guess they've been edited now anyway - I still don't really care. She also called Lana del Rey a "Female Chris Isaak", I'd be so flattered by that comment. Who doesn't want to be a female Chris Issak? I'm guessing that Kim Gordon might also tell me to "off myself", and she wouldn't be the first, but I'd finally get the validation from Kim!