Sunday Morning Soliloquy - Musings of an Urbanite: Vaginas

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


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Most of my random thoughts and ideas come to me while I am at the gym, mostly while I am on the treadmill or the bike, my mind goes to a special place and the thoughts just start to pour. Not today, the thought for today came to me in the locker room of my gym. Today, I am going to write about vaginas and I will keep it short.

Approximately thirteen to fifteen years ago, women's vaginas had hair, or what is currently referenced as "The Renaissance Bush." In the early to mid '90s, women started to shave or wax their cooters, the shaving or waxing started modestly, a little clean up here and there with a razor and a trim with a clippers or a small scissors. Eventually, the movement graduated to what is now known as the "Landing Strip." As the shaved snizz revolution grew, the "Hitler Moustache" was born. Today, women are completely bare, bald, smooth.

Here are my thoughts on women who choose to go completely bare.... In my humble opinion, if you're 19 - 30, have a pretty pussy with a rock-solid body and a great tan, go for it. Shave it off, wax it off or laser it all off! Go bald! Give it all you got, it probably looks fantastic. But...If you're over 30, butt-white and chubby by all means, please realize that YOU LOOK LIKE A FAT BABY. A new born baby girl who has the fat rolls all over her body.

Let me repeat, ladies who are over 30, chubby and pale should keep some hair on their snatch. There is nothing attractive about a fat baby. There is no shame in going back to the Landing Strip of yesteryear. If you'd like further expert advice on your genitalia coif, may I suggest a nice, fuller (but short) "V" shape. This will give the hips a slimmer look all the while maintaining your slutty status of a shorn whore.

1 comment :

gh said...

After reading this entry aloud to my two female roommates they simply asked if you were a comedian.