Sunday Morning Soliloquy - Musings of an Urbanite: Your Blog Sucks And I'm Here To Tell You Why

Monday, March 15, 2010

Your Blog Sucks And I'm Here To Tell You Why


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This morning, I was doing the usual, going through my email and my Twitter feed. Each morning before I start my day, I spend about an hour or so cleaning up email, reading my trade publications and then checking out articles & links on Twitter. I came across a blog of a young woman. Her blog was not unlike many other blogs I've come across in the past two years. Blogs of women, mommy bloggers, young professionals, 20-something writers, etc. Now, I am stepping out a limb when I say this but, here I go... YOUR BLOG SUCKS. I don't care if your best friend tells you how awesome it is and how cute the pictures of your puppy or your new baby are - it still SUCKS.

blogging


I am going to tell you why your blog sucks.
1. Because you grew up in a small town outside of some metropolitan area and have never ventured more than 300 miles away from your home

2. Because your poodle/maltese/Shizhu is just not that cute and certainly not interesting enough to warrant even ONE blog post

3. Because you more than likely got married in a bland ballroom in some 2nd rate hotel with 200 of your closest friends

4. Because you shop at Crate & Barrel & Pottery Barn

5. Because you own a pair of khaki pants and you think that is acceptable for a woman

6. Because you think Disney Land is an appropriate destination for two adults vacationing without children

7. Because you consider Mexico exotic

8. Because you met your husband in Jr. High

9. Because your child's name was one of the top 10 most popular names the year your child was born
10. Because you eat Hamburger Helper

11. Because your idea of a wild time is a game of Scruples

12. Because you've sold six things on Etsy

13. Because your photos of the oak tree in your front yard are not that great, everyone is just being polite

14. Because your cooking is just like everybody else's cooking and you will never be the next Giada or Rachel Ray

15. Because sixth graders can decorate a holiday table better than you can


My list seems pretty harsh, I know. I've picked on everyone, I know. In fact, I fall into that list multiple times myself. But that is the point. 95% (or more) of the blogs out there are boring and they talk about the same thing. Rarely are these people speaking with authority on anything. Or, what is worse, they ARE speaking as an authority and they are not an authority.

The bottom line is - your blog sucks because you don't take risks. Take a risk people! Say something that might offend someone every once in a while. Do something scary. Go some place that would make your neighbors cringe. Eat something that grosses you out. Talk to someone who doesn't do what you do or dress the way you dress. Get off the beaten path... And then...write about that.

Now, go ahead and make your anonymous comments insulting me. I promise to publish all of your hurtful words.

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